I'm putting my heart out there and working to learn to trust my cheating wife all over again. Are there any tricks or tips that will help me dig down deep to attain the same level of trust I had before? I'd like it to work a little more rapidly this time around.
I hate to say it but there's only one sure fire way to re-learn trust. That is time. Your cheating wife is going to have to spend a little time working to earn your trust all over again. It's not like there is a switch in your brain that can be turned on and off at will to give trust where it is needed.
Trust, once earned is sacred. She's going to have to work doubly hard to regain the trust that has been lost. The heart and the head are at war almost constantly and the head does not like losing a battle twice in a row.
So how do you go about learning to trust again and speeding up the timeline on that trust?
1) Start small and work your way up. You can't start at the top and work your way down. It's just too much. It's much easier to trust her for an hour here and there and let her earn your trust slowly rather than leaping right into a weekend with the girls in Vegas or something. She should understand the need for you to take your time and should be willing to start small to regain the trust that her cheating destroyed.
2) Take each day as it comes. There's no need to go all in and expect miracles over night. You may have some days that are better than others. The trick is in not allowing the bad days to derail all the strides you have made for the better. Instead of letting a bad day knock you down, let it give you a bigger, bolder sense of purpose for the following day.
3) Ask the questions you need answers to and decide for yourself whether or not the answers you are getting are honest. This is one of the first tests of trust you might want to engage in. You need the answers to these questions and you need to really feel as though you are getting an honest answer or there will never be any trust to build on in the future.
There's no time like the present to make everything right with the world and work to get your ex back.
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